{"id":3929,"date":"2021-01-16T06:20:04","date_gmt":"2021-01-16T06:20:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hypnotc.com\/?p=3929"},"modified":"2022-10-16T14:06:35","modified_gmt":"2022-10-16T13:06:35","slug":"online-social-anxiety-shyness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hypnotc.com\/online-social-anxiety-shyness\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping clients with ‘online social anxiety & shyness’"},"content":{"rendered":"

Social anxiety and shyness<\/h2>\n

With the majority of hypnotherapy being conducted online at the moment due to Covid restrictions and lockdowns one type of client that may struggle with this is the client with social anxiety or shyness when online. To have to communicate online may have a considerable impact on some clients if they are required to work or study from home where they don\u2019t normally have to. This may be an expansion of their existing social anxiety (e.g. speaking to strangers in public, speaking up at work or in class), or it may be specific only to online situations.<\/p>\n

Most people will say that they can feel a little shy or anxious in certain leisure or work environments. For some though, the feeling is stronger and present in more situations. This can have a limiting effect on someone\u2019s day to day life, whether that is within friendships, leisure activities, school\/university or work.<\/p>\n

How people experience their social anxiety can vary from person to person, and can also be situation\/context dependent. Commonly, clients may report feeling stressed, anxious, or \u2018on edge\u2019, before or during an online session, and during the session they may say that they feel self-conscious or exposed. This may lead to the client behaving differently (or feeling that they are) in online settings, leading to embarrassment.<\/p>\n

Self-monitoring may then cause a cycle back to stress and anxiety and an ongoing loop. The client may also report a range of perceived or actual physical symptoms, such as sweating, blushing, racing pulse, trembling voice, a churning stomach (or \u2018butterflies\u2019) and rapid breathing, which can lead to dizziness or feeling light-headed.<\/p>\n

As well as emotional and physical symptoms, the client may be aware of intrusive thoughts about the situation e.g. \u201ceveryone is looking at me\u201d or negative self-talk, such as, \u201cI look stupid\u201d, \u201cI don’t say anything of value\u201d or, \u201cI can\u2019t cope with this\u201d. This self-talk can be prior to an event, predicting how bad it will be, during an event, feeling that everyone will be thinking poorly of them, or afterwards, when they may reflect on each aspect of the event and beating themselves up about what the perceive they did badly.<\/p>\n

These symptoms can lead to a range of unhelpful behaviours and coping strategies, especially avoidance (e.g. making excuses not to work online), withdrawal (e.g. staying quiet and not contributing to discussions), and self-soothing (e.g. alcohol\/food).<\/p>\n

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\"Silhouette<\/p>\n

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There are many potential causes that can generate social anxiety, such as conditioning. For some clients, a single event can result in the development of social anxiety. They may have been totally fine until one significant event where they performed poorly or felt humiliated, embarrassed or another negative strong emotion. For others, it could be a series of minor events which cumulatively lead the client towards a negative mindset.<\/p>\n

It may be that the client had already experienced social anxiety in \u2018in-person\u2019 situations, or it might be<\/em> that their first experience of social anxiety is when they are online. Where someone in a client\u2019s family has social anxiety, this can have an influence, whether that is because family tend to have similar personality traits, or a ‘modelling’ (copying) of behaviour, or even a way of fitting in.<\/p>\n

Whichever causative route, the client will start to negatively anticipate and worry about similar situations, and that they may have similar outcomes. This worry can lead to fear and anxiety, which can affect how a client thinks and behaves, thus reinforcing their perception of a negative outcome.<\/p>\n

Social anxieties can persist without intervention. They can be maintained by negative thinking strategies (before, during and after events), emotions (such as anxiety) and behaviours (including avoidance, safety behaviours, and directed self-monitoring, where a person looks for evidence to support belief that the situation is\/will be\/was terrible). For example:<\/p>\n

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Situation:<\/strong> Speaking to a group of family members online for a catch up
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\nThoughts:<\/strong> I don\u2019t have anything to contribute. They will laugh at me. I am stupi
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\nEmotions:<\/strong> Anxious, self-conscious, on show.
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\nSensations:<\/strong> Blushing, sweating, fast breathing
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\nThoughts:<\/strong> Everyone can see I am anxious, they will think I can\u2019t cope.
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\nEmotions:<\/strong> \u00a0Heightened anxiety, feel more self-conscious.
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\nActions:<\/strong> Withdraw, avoid speaking, make an excuse to log off
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\nThoughts:<\/strong> I couldn\u2019t cope, I did badly.<\/p>\n

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Hypnotherapy for social anxiety and shyness<\/h3>\n

The socially anxious client\u2019s first contact with a hypnotherapist is likely to be by email (easier from them to control the interaction), or possibly by phone. They may also ask for therapy via the phone, rather than internet (e.g. Zoom, Skype). It is certainly more optimal to be able to see<\/em> your client when engaging in work in hypnosis. As such, if a client is initially uncomfortable working online, and you are unable to see them in person, some work outside of hypnosis, conducted via telephone can start the change process.<\/p>\n

It may be appropriate to conduct the initial consultation and work from a cognitive perspective (out of hypnosis) via a phone call, in order to help them become more comfortable with accepting therapy online.<\/p>\n

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\"Hypnotherapist<\/p>\n

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When working with clients experiencing social anxiety, whether in person, or online, both cognitive and behavioural approaches can help a client achieve meaningful change. Helping the client learn how to identify and challenge their unhelpful thoughts and then find more realistic ways of thinking can be really beneficial.<\/p>\n

During a consultation, you may start to become aware of one or more cognitive distortions<\/a> that the client is experiencing, such as \u2018black or white\u2019 thinking (e.g. something is either 100% good or 100% bad) or mind reading, (thinking you know what someone is thinking, even if there is no supporting evidence).<\/p>\n

Just challenging a client\u2019s thoughts in the session can be helpful, but the client may come to rely on the therapist\u2019s help in using the thought-challenging process. Whereas, if the client learns how to do this for themselves there is more impact over time. When you are able to work online with your client, then this cognitive work can be reinforced in hypnosis, together with the use of future pacing to practice new thinking strategies and teaching the client mental rehearsal.<\/p>\n

There are many questioning approaches that you can teach a client<\/em> to explore their unhelpful thoughts. Some of the popular approaches are listed below. A running example of someone with anxiety about speaking up at an online meeting is used.<\/p>\n

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A range of perspectives
\n<\/strong>Question:<\/em> What are three (or more) ways of thinking about this situation?<\/p>\n

Example answers:<\/em><\/p>\n

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  1. One \u2013 Speaking up at an online team meeting will mean people may laugh at me.<\/li>\n
  2. Two \u2013 Staying silent at a team meeting means by views are not considered.<\/li>\n
  3. Three \u2013 Speaking up at an online team meeting is little different to speaking up in person.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    Cost-benefit
    \n<\/strong>Question:<\/em> What are the costs and benefits of thinking this way, versus the costs and benefits of thinking more positively?<\/p>\n

    Example answers:<\/em><\/p>\n