{"id":2829,"date":"2019-02-13T18:00:27","date_gmt":"2019-02-13T18:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/hypnotc.com\/?p=2829"},"modified":"2022-09-14T13:32:58","modified_gmt":"2022-09-14T12:32:58","slug":"self-worth-hypnotherapy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hypnotc.com\/self-worth-hypnotherapy\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-worth and hypnotherapy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cBecause one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.\u201d<\/em>
\n– Lao Tzu<\/p>\n

Self-worth relates to the perspective we have of our own value or worth. Low self-worth is rarely a presenting condition in hypnotherapy, yet can be a contributing factor to a client\u2019s present experience (such as anxiety or depression) and can be a barrier to effective change. Although low self-worth can often have its foundations in childhood, particularly where there has been a dysfunctional environment during the early years, it can also arise in relation to stressful life events (e.g. relationship, financial or career issues). A key area where clients can disturb themselves is by comparing themselves to others. This can have a diminishing effect on how they value themselves, reducing their \u2018self-worth\u2019. Such a comparison can be focused around inward or outward influences.<\/p>\n

Outward appearances are often success-focused, such as material possessions, wealth, physical appearance, career, and relationship status. These are easier for people to measure against, yet harder for success to be achieved. There will always be someone wealthier, prettier\/more handsome, in a better career, with a more doting partner and so on. Clients basing their own self-worth on outward appearances can be focused on what they don\u2019t have (e.g. not enough money, not a good enough car). With the Law of Concentrated Attention (see our blog: Laws of Suggestion<\/a><\/strong>), when an idea is focused upon it becomes magnified. The client\u2019s focus is on \u2018not enough\u2019 rather than focusing on what they actually want. This also connects to the Rules of the Mind (same blog) with \u2018what we think, we create\u2019 and \u2018what you expect, happens\u2019. The more a client disturbs themselves by focusing on what they don\u2019t have, the less reward they can find from what they do have.<\/p>\n

Each negative or \u2018falling short\u2019 measurement can build a client\u2019s insecurity and there can be a disproportionate perception of their inadequacy. This can lead to a range of \u2018cognitive distortions\u2019 and even \u2018cognitive dissonance<\/strong><\/a>\u2019.\u00a0 Furthermore, such measurement against others is self-limiting and sets a client up for a failure to ever achieve the ultimate measurement of success (as there will always be someone with more).<\/p>\n

Someone highly focused on outward expressions of success may not consider their personal values and attributes, such as integrity, honesty, compassion, balance and emotional intelligence. Yet these are the very attributes that can help them achieve whatever they desire, if they focus on their goals and utilise their personal values.<\/p>\n

\"self-worth<\/p>\n

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Such outward comparisons can arise from habits learned early in childhood development, including comparisons from parents (especially between siblings), in school (hierarchy in class), and amongst their peers (such as sporting achievements). This habitual behaviour continues into adulthood, with a change of focus to personal relationships, careers and even hobbies. However, a behavioural hypnotherapy approach can be undertaken to develop more positive and beneficial habitual responses and these can be practised in and out of hypnotherapy with future pacing and mental rehearsal.<\/p>\n

As well as having a behavioural component, poor self-worth can have a cognitive perspective, with a \u2018critical inner voice\u2019. This inner voice can be destructive in its comments, providing a negative self-view. Often having origins in childhood, this critical inner voice can be challenged (REBT is useful for this). This can be particularly effective for clients who indicate awareness of self-sabotage. Dramatic changes may not occur instantly, as clients learn to develop new self-care strategies, including taking a more compassionate and accepting perspective about themselves. Initially it can be challenging for clients to consider themselves kindly, imperfections and all.<\/p>\n

When finding out about a client\u2019s self-worth, it can be good to explore a number of areas of self-perception. Areas to explore include,<\/p>\n

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What do they think about themselves?<\/strong><\/p>\n